our bodies just are

Photo by @swolfephoto

Les is the founder of Balanced Black Girl. She resides in Los Angeles, CA.

What was the last thing you ate?

I made some congee in the Instapot.

How did you get into liking congee? Did you grow up with it?

Not at all. I recently started getting acupuncture for some digestion issues I’ve been having. My acupuncturist recommended that I start eating congee, so I made it for the first time and I’m obsessed! Now I just want to make and eat it all the time. 

My body has been out of balance, which is funny because the name of my brand and podcast is “balanced black girl” -laughs-

I had a recent epiphany that our routines are so much more important than what we achieve. 

I love that eastern medicine encourages making small changes, like eating congee or warming food, which can have a big impact.

It’s so validating, too. I’ve felt heard and listened to. I’ve been assured that I’m not making this up. Integrating the emotional components of my struggles has been so reassuring.

What does food mean to you?

I’m really fortunate that I feel at ease around food. Ever since I was young, it has been a way to nourish myself, feel relaxed and rewarded. I love cooking and preparing food, but over the last year, it’s been a lot -laughs- I’m ready to be fed!

What role did food have in your house growing up?

Food was a weird thing in my house growing up because I had a younger brother who was the pickiest eater ever. A lot of conversations about food were around what he would or wouldn't eat. As I got older, I wanted to rebel against that and it made me more adventurous. 

How did you get into wellness?

It has been a long windy road. My college experience had two parts to it. The first half was a really typical college experience of eating pizza and drinking champagne all the time and not feeling my best. 

The second half was when I started to gain a better understanding of my body and that the way I treated it really mattered. I experienced severe anxiety that took my appetite away for months. I was too anxious and sick to eat. I lost a lot of weight and I remember people complimenting me and telling me how good I looked. I remember thinking I don't feel good so I don't take that as a compliment. I’m so grateful I had that mindset because I think that can be a really slippery slope that women can get caught up in. 

I got into wellness not to lose weight but to feel good and have energy. I didn't want to feel like an anxious mess so I went to therapy for the first time and started exercising. I realized that I felt like an entirely different person mentally and physically. Ever since then, I’ve been on this journey of constantly figuring out how to meet my needs as my life, and I change. At 31, I’m completely different than I was ten years ago. I’ve shared that and over time, more and more people have become interested and have taken my story as inspiration for their own journey.

It’s so inspiring that you’ve been doing this for ten years! What has been your journey around body image?

I remember when I was 14 and in high school, my friends and I were in the locker room. It was like the scene from Mean Girls when all of the Plastics were complaining about something they didn’t like about themselves. Then they looked over at Cady Heron and she was like Huh? It was literally the same for me. My friends didn’t like something about their bodies, and I had just never thought about it. My body was just how it was.

How can we make that experience more universal?

I think it’s about communicating and sharing with people of all ages that our bodies just are. Sizes, traits, and features don't make anyone better or worse. When I was younger I didn’t think about my body as good or bad, it just was. There are women and men of all ages who struggle with this who need support, just as teenagers do. 

What key practices did you adopt to live your best life?

Before getting into wellness practices, it’s important to have a solid “why”. What is the goal you are trying to achieve? For me, it was that I didn't want to be an anxious wreck and I needed to figure out how to have more energy. That helped make the habits much easier to stick to. A lot of times people have a why around losing weight or looking a certain way. As soon as that doesn't happen the way they want it to, they stop the healthy habits, or view those habits as a punishment. You want to make sure you are enjoying how you’re spending your time. 

I try to highlight something similar with palette - are you making decisions about eating or cooking based on something that isn't about you, or how you feel?

Food can be tricky because it's often so emotional for people. I have had experiences with bingeing, wanting to control calorie counts, and feeling out of control with food. I was recently reflecting on that - what foods did I not trust myself around? I don't have those struggles anymore because I stopped restricting myself. If you are struggling with food, first try to understand how food makes you feel. Then try to put yourself at the intersection of what you have access to, what feels good, and what you enjoy. That can be the compass that drives your eating decisions. 

Why is it so important to create space for women, specifically black women when it comes to these topics?

There is a perception that black women don't care about wellness, and that black women aren’t working in the wellness space. I don't know anyone of any background who doesn't want to be well. Do people have equal access and exposure to the tools to be well? No, but no one wants to be sick. 

Once I started interviewing black women in wellness it was like a beautiful pandora’s box. I was able to introduce my audience to amazing black women in wellness. In 2018, I took a break from social media and got messages from black and brown women saying “I'm glad you're taking a break but you’re the only black woman in wellness I see in my feed.” I knew I wasn't the only one talking about wellness so I created a way to introduce my audience to other women so I could take a break - laughs- that’s how my podcast was born. 

What are you most excited about in the wellness space?

The continued conversation around mental health. We normalize things by talking consistently and frequently about them.

I also think over the past year, the social justice movement has made it so that different cultures are finally getting credit for what they’ve been doing for centuries. African, eastern, indigenous practices are finally being properly credited to the people who created them. That’s a beautiful thing and I want to see that continue.

What is your wish for women when it comes to the arts of eating and cooking?

I want us to stop worrying about what our bodies look like and just enjoy life. When we aren't so preoccupied with what we look like, we can enjoy food, life in general, and fully step into our power.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.