enjoy life even more
What’s the last thing you ate?
-laughs- Of course, today is the day we had Nuggs and mac n’ cheese.
Nuggs..aren’t those popular because of Bella Hadid? What's so good about them?
They taste exactly like a chicken nugget. Like, when you’re drinking or smoking you just want some Nuggs! -laughs-
It’s such a good name, too.
I was going to ask you that, what are your favorite high munchies?
I always want some type of chips, usually jalapeno kettle chips, and I always want to have chocolate. A little salty, a little sweet.
Do you eat all of the sweet and then the salty, or do you go back and forth?
Back and forth but not in the same bite -laughs-
Good clarification -laughs-
Sometimes Sour Patch, too. Watermelon or regular. My favorite is the blue one.
I’m a red girl
Red and blue are the best, of course.
Fuck the citrus
The other day my friend was like “I love the orange and green!” and I was like, “What? You’ve changed” -laughs-
-Laughs- What’s your favorite drunk snack? Is it the same? I feel like high munchies and drunk snacks are different
They’re definitely different. I always want pizza. A street dog. Mac n cheese and Nuggs, too.
Who would you love to sit down for a meal with?
Since we’ve been watching Seinfeld so much I want to say Jerry.
What are you getting on a road trip?
Hot Cheetos, cold brew. Oh, and those honey barbeque twisty Freeto things.
What do you typically eat in a day?
I usually have peppermint tea in the morning
A breakfast shake or smoothie
A cup of coffee
A healthy bowl for lunch
Then dinner changes a ton. I’m never consistent. We’ll have crunch wraps or pasta, lots of different things.
What does food mean to you?
It’s changed so much for me over the years but I didn’t really start thinking about it until after college. I was in such “athlete mode” that I didn’t care to think about it. I ate really unhealthy food and then after I stopped playing soccer I used controlling food as a way to stay thin. Just over the last year, I have finally been able to love food. Now food means a lot to me because I understand it more. I understand nutrition and that eating a bunch of vegetables can taste just as good as mac n’ cheese. Once you start to make food a part of your life it stops being this forbidden thing that’s going to make you fat.
What do you think helped change everything for you?
I never ate good food growing up so as a kid it was just completely over my head. Our meals would be a box of Rice-a-Roni, or powdered cheese alfredo, a can of green beans, peas or creamed corn. Everything was processed. I hadn’t had sushi until I got to college, which gives you an idea of things-laughs-
Then when I moved to the PNW I was in a community of people who loved food. Just recently I started to see a food therapist about my food allergies and intolerances and she has helped retrain my brain. I’ve learned about “mindful permission” and that there is no reason not to enjoy things, no reason to restrict myself.
For someone who doesn’t have access to a food therapist, what are some of the things you’ve learned?
For one, my therapist “got around” insurance and I’ve been able to get this help that way, so I recommend people pursue it as there are options.
She has taught me about talking through things with myself, which has been really helpful. Sometimes I would want something, and then I’d tell myself I shouldn’t have that which causes all types of stress in your body. Now, I’ll ask myself why I had that thought. The self-talk makes you feel less stressed. You end up realizing that you actually wanted whatever it was, or that you were reaching for something that might actually be harmful to you. But you create that space to understand.
Thinking about the environment you’re eating in is really important, too. If you’re stressed out and eating in the middle of a meeting, you might get bloated. Understanding the brain and gut connection is incredible. A lot of the things I thought I had a sensitivity to were actually in my head. I had created the sensitivity based on how I was thinking about something. I would go into a meal and think I can’t have cheese. Oh my god I’m eating cheese. It tastes really good but I’m going to feel like shit. Obviously, I would feel like shit after. I learned to tell myself that I deserved something and that it would be okay, and then I wouldn’t get bloated.
We teach kids to be obsessed with certain foods like candy and then we restrict them. It’s the same for 5-year-olds and 30-year-olds -laughs- I told myself I couldn’t have cheese or gluten and then when I would have it, I would overindulge and make myself sick.
What has the journey around body image been like for you?
I have been trying to divorce my younger self in a way. My younger self was “always the athlete”. I was holding onto my old identity so hard. I put pressure on myself to look the same as I did when I was a college athlete. I had to learn to be okay with my new body. I’m eating healthy, I’m working out and I might not look exactly how I want to look, but I have to ask myself if I feel good and the answer is yes.
I pride myself on being a really positive and authentic person. You might not think that I have body image issues but the reality is that I do. I have to check myself and come back to that person who loves herself unconditionally.
Sometimes we treat the people around us better than we treat ourselves
Some days I tell myself I’m fine and laugh it off, and then other days I ask myself if I’m really being authentic to who I am. You have to love yourself on the good and the bad days and know that it will all be okay. You have to give yourself grace.
What is your hope for the women of the world when it comes to the arts of eating and cooking?
I really want women to be more chill about this topic, and food in general. I feel like so many of us are worried about whether we ate too much, or not enough of the right thing. Food is so fucking good I just want us to be able to enjoy it and not think about it so much. It used to take over my brain. To be able to take over that self-talk and fill my thoughts with other things, I’ve become such a better person. I enjoy life even more.
