it can be transformational

Dmitria is 39 and lives in Portland, Oregon with her family. She is an Intuitive Guide and Energy Healer.

What is your guilty pleasure?

If I could only eat one thing in this world it would be fresh french bread and butter.

What is your healthiest pleasure?

Fresh tropical fruit served beautifully on a beach.

What dish feels like home?

Ganmo and rice

(Ganmo is a Japanese tofu fritter. Here's a recipe so that you can try it for yourself at home.)

What do you remember about becoming an adult and realizing that you are in charge of what you eat?

There was a moment in college when I realized that I had only eaten bananas and peanut butter for maybe two weeks. I’m sure I had a real meal somewhere in there. But I was just lazy and it tasted good and then I remember feeling kind of sick and thinking, oh I actually need to think about this.

Do you think your generation was made to fit in a stricter, smaller box?

Everything about what a woman could be was more restricted and confined when I was younger. Society has changed. The #metoo movement is a good example of how society has redefined how women should be treated. At 14, 16, 18 I was starving myself. Today, I’m trying to feed myself to have muscle. Healthy is beautiful but to be healthy you have to feed yourself the right things.

Why do you think you were starving yourself?

Growing up, my older sister was always tall and skinny and I was short and fat. I was just round! We were so competitive as kids and I just felt like I was always going to be the lesser, fatter sister. That stuck with me my whole life, that I’ll never be the skinniest. I understand that I am skinny, but not the skinniest in the group. My bones are bigger, and I’m more athletically built, and it took me a long time to be okay with that. I think society has evolved so much since I was a kid. Kate Moss was the supermodel, and she was a waif. That’s what you wanted to be, skin and bones. Now there is Jennifer Lopez and this idea that muscles are sexy. That was nowhere in the world when I was younger. That only started to happen when I got into college. My childhood image of beauty compared to my image of beauty now is vastly different.

How does this impact your approach to raising your daughter?

She’s so energetic, and athletic but she’s growing up so fast and there are moments when she will say, “I can’t eat that” or “I feel fat.” We have conversations about how those thoughts start, the conversations happening at school that are causing her to say those things.

One of my goals at home is to feed my children food that is nutritious, and healthy that they really like to eat. It’s a challenge to find food that they are going to love and enjoy and cherish the memories of eating, but is healthy for them. I can make cookies and cake all day and they would love me forever but we have to find the balance in the enjoyment and nutrition of food.

I’m thoughtful about what I put in my body, and what we have in the house. I think we set a good example of working out and eating well.

What does it mean to you to have cherished memories around food?

There is nothing better than your mother’s cooking. There is that fondness, that thing in your heart. As adults I want them to have loving memories of eating with the family. I don’t want them to think “mom’s food was horrible, I don’t need the recipes because I never want to eat it again” -laughs-

What was it like to become a wife and assume that new role?

It was pretty seamless but we definitely had our moments as we integrated. We were both working busy jobs, and running kids around. We ordered in and went out to eat a lot. Over the years I find that things really ebb and flow in terms of how much you cook. It depends on how busy you are, tired you are, and how much space you have to devote to cooking.

Now that I have the time, I buy whole ingredients and make most things from scratch.

How has that changed with quarantine?

Quarantine has given me family dinner together every night. We had to give up a lot to get that, but it's so nice to have everyone sit around the table together. We eat, clean up and play Monopoly Deal most nights as a family.

What has been your personal approach to nourishing yourself?

I have found that sticking to a routine makes me feel good. I get up and have celery juice, workout, have another juice or a smoothie. For lunch, I’ll have plantain chips, hummus and carrots, or, a bagel and cream cheese. If I’m really hungry then I’ll have both. We try to always have a really thoughtful dinner. I have as much of that as I want. For dessert, I’ll have a vegan yogurt and fruit, chocolate almonds, or frozen blueberries.

I find when I’m off my game, it becomes really hard. I don’t count my calories but I consider the amount of exercise I’m getting, then ebb and flow on the quantity of food throughout the day.

What does “women and the arts of eating and cooking” mean to you?

For me, it’s about turning something that is a chore or can be mundane into something to be revered and appreciated. It really can be transformational.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.