eat good fuckin’ food with the people you love

Lara Pia Baroncini (Arrobio) is Creative Director of clothing brand @lpa, Host of Everything is the Best podcast, CMO of @ghiaiacashmere, and co-founder of @baronciniimportandco. She lives in Pasadena, California with her husband, mother, and puppies. 

What is the last thing that you cooked?

Mung dal, basmati rice with ghee, and roasted broccoli with garlic. I’m going to add a bunch of the green hot sauce by the Cajun Chef, which I love. I have an entire shelf in the refrigerator dedicated to hot sauce!

What is a country that you love to visit for its food?

Italy, specifically Sicily, where my husband’s from. Every night that we are there, my husband will ask me if I want to eat meat or fish. If I want meat, we go up into the mountains. If I want fish, we go near the sea. It’s beautiful. In the north, you get ragus and rabbit and stews, but there is a lightness to the food. Even the pizza and sandwiches are light. Every region, every 15 minutes you travel, there is someone saying, “well, we don’t make our whatever, like they do.” You know, a bitchy argument about pesto, or something. It’s hilarious.

What has it been like to explore food with your husband?

It’s a huge part of our relationship. He told me when we were dating, “when I make you my pasta, that’s when you’re going to fall in love with me.” I would go to New York and visit him, because we were long-distance, and we would just fuck all day and then break for food -laughs-. There are obviously restaurants in New York that we love like Sant Ambroeus, Mogador, this little spot in Williamsburg that was French and Korean, but for the most part, he would just make me the craziest pastas. 

He’s an amazing cook and I was always really nervous to cook for him. If there was one word to describe the food I cook and eat, it would be “healthy”. I’m not going to make pasta on a normal weeknight. Now, I can cook anything for him. I’ll make a whole roasted chicken with sauteed kale, and he loves it. That was a big accomplishment. I think we really complement each other, though. Every meal we’re like, “what do you want to eat?” -laughs- It’s not boring, ever.

What role did food have in your house growing up?

Both my parents were amazing cooks. Every night, every dinner was chicken piccata, or some amazing fish. We had tons of cookbooks. My mom is Danish and my dad was Italian-American so our approach to food was always very European, communal.

What meal or dish feels like home to you?

My mom’s mom was from Denmark so I have really specific memories of the tastes and smells of her Danish food. Things like pumpernickel bread. Then I would go to my other grandmother’s house who was Italian-American, and we would have red sauce that had cooked all day, sausages, meatballs, braciola. 

My mom would make really good danish pancakes, or have dinner parties where she would make these desserts, like a caramel cage that ice cream would go into. It wasn’t a rich person thing, she grew up poor. She was just always cooking and loved it. 

My parents bought land in Napa in the ’80s when it wasn’t expensive. It was this utopian place, where you could drink really good wine and have really good meals. They would go to the original French Laundry from the original owner. It wasn’t a luxury experience, they were just really into food. My mom will even cry talking about the restaurants that we used to go to in Pasadena. Every memory is around food. 

My mom is so small and doesn’t eat that much, and I was always chubby. She’s always like, “I don’t know why you were always on the heavier side!” and I’m like, “you were always making the craziest food! Bread, pancakes, muffins, amazing dinners” -laughs-. There was always food around.

Girl, I get it. My mom is Korean and part of our culture is just to eat, eat and eat -laughs-. It’s where I got these cheeks from. 

Korean food is so good! We live in Pasadena, and were walking in Old Town and just saw that a new Korean barbecue restaurant opened. We’re so excited!

You mentioned that your style of eating and cooking is more on the “healthy side”. What is “healthy” food to you and when did you figure out what food made you feel good to eat?

I was sick for a long time. Typical American shit, I’m bloated, foggy-brained, don’t feel good, and can’t get rid of this extra ten pounds. I went through the obvious journey of trying to figure out what I was allergic to, and what I should be eating. Now that I’m on a fertility journey, I’m eating a lot of warming, Ayurvedic foods. That’s why I made mung dal and rice today. 

I try to eat a yummy, warm breakfast, hopefully with some fruit. Lunch is always with a healthy carb, like sweet potatoes or vegetables. Dinner is usually greens and a protein, like the other day we were in Venice so we got half of a roasted chicken from Gjusta, with all of the sauces. I always have kale, collard greens and spinach in the house, so I’ll sauté those with smoked paprika, ghee and garlic. That’s my baseline. 

I like to look at food as doing one of two things: nourishing me or sparking joy. My baseline is nourishment and then I also feel like nourishing my soul is equally important, so a couple of times a week I’ll have an indulgent meal. I really love the Amoré frozen pizzas, they are so fucking good. Once a week we’ll have one of those with a salad on top, which is one of my favorite meals. Davide will make me pasta, or I’ll have a burger from somewhere. 

This is why palette exists. To explore this awful foundation so many of us have, of not knowing how to feed ourselves or knowing what food makes us feel good. It’s to explore methods like yours, around nourishment, and joy. It’s to remind us to pause and think about how we feel.

I interviewed the author of Chasing Cupcakes for my podcast the other day. She grew up on the heavier side, and her mom put her on diets starting from when she was 2 or 3. She has a great method for mindfulness around eating. Not just eating to eat. It’s asking yourself questions like, do I want this? Am I enjoying it? We want that satisfaction, that high of the meal. We eat so fast, and then we are full but we aren’t satisfied. I think it’s why we overeat so much.

You don’t even remember taking the bites. I’ll go into my kitchen and I’ll say out loud, “I’m not hungry, I’m bored” and I have to repeat it to myself -laughs-

I say that to my husband all the time. I’ll say, “I’m starving” and he’ll say, “you’re not starving, you’re bored. You want to eat for fun.”

What has the body image journey been like for you?

Horrible! I’m going through a lot with this fertility stuff. It’s been hard with the supplements I’ve been taking, not working out, doing all of the things to get my body ready, and then in quarantine I’ve definitely gained weight. Then, being a chubby pregnant person and the battle of losing weight afterwards has been a fear of mine my entire life.

I go back and forth between, I’m a beautiful woman! and it doesn’t matter! I have a husband who dies for me, and I’m never going to be thin-thin and I don’t want to be that way. I flip flop back and forth. This summer was hard for me. I was drinking a lot in quarantine and that can cause inflammation, so I ballooned. My weight gain and body stuff, most of it, probably 90% is tied to alcohol. Drinking with my friends is a huge part of my life, and our community in Pasadena. Every night someone is hosting a happy hour. It’s always, what wine are we drinking? What cocktails are we making? There is so much drinking and when I drink, I want to eat. It’s a social thing for me. Even last night, I’m not drinking but I was like, “mom you’re drunk!”. She was being so funny and cute, but I realized she had started drinking at 5, which is normal. We’ll make a cocktail, go on a walk, water the garden. Then I’ll start eating but not in a way where I’m being mindful of what I’m eating.

That’s like me. I take a sip of wine and I’m like, “where are the french fries?”

We put ourselves under so much pressure about our weight!

It’s also extremely time-consuming to be that vigilant about weight. What’s hard for me is that I get really bothered by women who I respect posting things on Instagram like, “missing my abs from last year”. A girl I follow had a baby a few weeks ago and she posted a picture on the treadmill saying, “17 pounds, let’s go!” and it makes me want to post a pic of me, chubby in a bathing suit that says, “I’m chilling.” Women do it to each other.

What is your wish for the women of the world when it comes to the arts of eating and cooking?

I want women to learn how to cook and enjoy food. I can’t believe how many people don’t know how to cook. I wish women would teach their kids how to cook, regardless of gender. Both my parents always cooked and cooking together was a huge part of their love language, it’s a huge part of me and my husband’s. Eating out is also really bad for the environment and for you, so go to the farmer’s market, get good meat from local farmers, and eat good fuckin’ food with the people you love.

Editors Note: Since this interview, Pia has announced that she is pregnant with a baby girl! Congratulations to Pia and Davide!!!

This interview has been edited and condensed.