feeling your mind shift

Chloe is 38 years old, and works as an entrepreneur and zero waste activist. She resides in New York City, New York with her husband Sebastien and her son Hugo.

What’s the last thing that you ate?

It’s very French. A ham and cheese crêpe.

I want you to be your full french self for this interview -laughs-. What was the last thing that you cooked?

The last exciting thing that I made was from a Dominique Ansel book that has all of these amazing dessert recipes. The best thing that I made was a raspberry tart. The last thing that I made though, was honestly something for Hugo. I meal prep fresh veggies for him. He’s such a happy baby he eats everything. Broccoli, cauliflower, oranges, bananas. I can even make him a tomato and mozzarella salad and he loves it.

What is your most indulgent pleasure?

Sweets all day long. Desserts, pastries, I adore ice cream. We just spent a month at my mom’s house in Brittany, France and we would go searching for the best ice cream every day. We finally found the best kind at a shop three towns out -laughs-.

I’m such a French kid, though. I always need my goûter, which is an afternoon snack. When I was working at my store Ancolie, it was a piece of chocolate cake. That’s something that always keeps me going.

Did you hear that as a kid, Eric Ripert would always put a piece of chocolate on his tongue before he went to bed?

Did he? No, I didn’t hear that but I love that. 

What does food mean in France?

It means everything. In France we live to eat, not the other way around. Every vacation, and fun memory that I have is about waking up and having fresh bread and pastries. After that we start to think about what we are going to do for lunch. We go to the market, buy fresh produce and cook again. Then we think about what we are going to do for dinner. It’s this ongoing conversation. It’s a lot simpler than what some of the relationships with food can be like here in the US. 

Do you think that’s emblematic of how a lot of French people experience food?

I don’t know a lot of French people who have a bad relationship with food and wine. It’s in our DNA. We all love to eat, and socialize while eating and drinking. I feel people take more time to cook in France than in the US. The pandemic has changed things a lot, of course. It makes me happy that in that moment at the beginning of everything, people realized that cooking can be fun and can help you create happy memories in a time like this.

Have you heard of the French paradox?

That French women don’t get fat? Here’s what I think. We grow up eating carbs, going to the boulangerie every day. It’s something that our bodies are used to. Also, the flour is much less processed in France. A lot of people who are gluten-free can actually eat bread in France and Europe without getting sick. 

The last thing is that we eat dessert a lot more and indulge in smaller quantities because it’s part of our daily life. I’m not going to eat a huge slice of cake. It’s about eating in moderation.

What dish feels like home to you?

A good baguette. That’s the number one thing that you eat and automatically feel good. My favorite meal, though is a roasted chicken, with haricot vert, and roasted or mashed potatoes. That is the typical Sunday meal in France. It doesn’t have to be very complicated, just made with high quality ingredients.

How did you start to define what food makes you feel good?

It’s a very interesting time to answer your question. I’ve been very stable in my weight for a long time. I was eating whatever I wanted while finding the right balance. Since I’ve had Hugo it has been different. Of course you gain weight when you’re pregnant. I thought that when he turned 1, I would want to be back to my pre-baby weight. But I haven’t been losing weight as quickly as I thought I would. Of course, this lockdown happened and I decided to become this master baker -laughs- so I quickly gained back the few pounds that I had lost. Now I’m back to my post-baby weight and I’m like, shit this is ridiculous. I’m doing a huge cleanse for a month of not drinking or eating sugar to try and shed some pounds. I’m not a believer in huge swings up and down, though. If you feel like you overdid it one day then try to balance it out the rest of the week so that overall you can feel like you are on a good path. 

A lot of it has to do with how you feel in your mind. So if you’re stressed or not feeling well you can have binge eating or no eating. It’s a whole mindfulness exercise of feeling good. It’s good to have a daily activity, too. Being able to walk for an hour at least a day is really important to me. I would rather be able to workout, do something to burn the extra calories and be able to eat whatever I want. Eating whatever I want makes me happy. Food is really my happy place. 

How do women recognize that they might not be in a good place psychologically and then how do they get themselves back on track? 

I think there are two things. What does your body look like and are you comfortable with it? Too often we blame fashion magazines and trends. If I gain weight I always have a little bit of a muffin top. I’m good at hiding it by wearing sweatshirts and I have tiny legs so you can’t tell. When crop tops are in fashion I think, this is something that I cannot wear, I think it looks good on many people but I’m not comfortable wearing it. You have to feel comfortable with yourself.

Then you have your clothes, so if you gained weight, and your clothes don't fit, it can be frustrating. This is the situation that I’m in. I had my maternity clothes for a while and now I want to go back to my old closet. Now I’m wondering, is my old closet still my size? Or do I need to go up a size and am I okay with that? It’s difficult when you are burned out or stressed. There are some signals and it’s important to listen to them. Working out is very important to me for that reason. Being able to do something for an hour, and forget about everything. Some people meditate, run, cook. Having this time to reset your mind is very important.

We opened my store Ancolie in November 2016 and then in January 2017 I was so burnt out. I met Dino at Barre3 and he offered me a month free and all of the sudden I felt my mind shift and I knew that I needed to do this to feel better. Then when I had my two miscarriages I was in a breakdown. I was totally burned out and I didn’t really realize it. I was a horrible boss. Now looking back I realize what was happening, and I hope it never happens again. I was so deep into it that I had a hard time realizing it. If you’re lucky then someone will tell you, which is what happened to me. I just felt like I couldn’t have a baby and it was because of my body. My body was the problem. Then I wasn’t working out anymore because I didn’t like my body. It was a whole mind, body situation where I hated the body and so the mind wasn’t there anymore. Anything that is going to make you feel good, is the most important. If that’s meditating or working out, shopping or watching a movie that makes you feel good, then great. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Chloe.

What do you think is next for you?

I don’t know yet. Hugo starts at his nursery in a few weeks so I’ll have more time to think about what’s next and I’m very excited. I’m looking to do something around food waste and repurposing it for something useful. Maybe I should create a curriculum to teach children about this and it will change their life forever.

Is there a wish that you have for women of the world when it comes to the arts of eating and cooking?

I have three wishes. I wish that no one would die hungry. When you look at the overproduction and food waste that occurs, it doesn’t have to be this way. Regarding women and their relationship with food, food is so delicious and it brings so much joy. I wish that women would not feel such sadness and discomfort around food. Around sustainability, I hope that we’ll be able to buy food without plastic packaging. I’m excited that more and more companies are offering reusable items. People buy what is available. I find that people really like to participate, but they just need to have it offered. 

As a zero-waste activist, how do you think sustainability play a roles in all of this?

When I moved here from France, I saw all of the to-go packaging that gets used once and then tossed out. I wanted to do something about it. When I look back at what we were doing in 2016 with food in reusable glass jars at Ancolie, we were the first ones talking about reusable items. It was very pioneering at that time and I didn’t realize it.

Everything that you buy sends a message to a company. Everything you don't buy sends a message too. If we want to stay on earth then we need to make some changes. That's something that Simon Sinek said recently. We’re the ones being kicked out. People think that their individual action won’t make a difference because the problem is so huge but that's not true. I don’t wear makeup anymore because it’s packaged in plastic. Friends come to my house and see that everything is reusable and they feel so bad that they have plastic in their kitchen. Now I see that I’ve inspired the people around me. Like everything else, you have to do what makes sense for you. We don’t need everyone to be perfect. If we were all using reusable water bottles, and coffee cups that would make a huge difference. There is a snowball effect where people start with one thing and then continue with the rest.

Educating children to eat well with clean, fresh ingredients is really important. I want to do this work for the sake of my son. There’s this idea that it's so complicated, but it can be really easy. People see what I make for my son to eat and they think I'm a perfect mother but you just have to walk before you run. If you take one step, you realize that it isn’t so hard.

This interview has been edited and condensed.